Relationship Coaching | Couples Conflict | Marriage Problems
Can I Save My Marriage?
Rebuilding Trust & Emotionally Connecting
Couples with Constant Conflict
Can I Save my Marriage...
Marriage problems can be one of the Major causes of stress in all areas of our life. When we
have marital conflict and There is a breakdown of communication, And there is constant
miscommunication, Arguments, and trouble getting on the same page it can really take a strong
negative toll on one's emotional well-being.
Can I Save my Marriage...
Marriage problems can be one of the Major causes of stress in all areas of our life. When we
have marital conflict and There is a breakdown of communication, And there is constant
miscommunication, Arguments, and trouble getting on the same page it can really take a strong
negative toll on one's emotional well-being. Things can get so Hard in a troubled or bad
marriage That you contemplate whether or not the marriage can actually even be saved.
While couples counseling and couple's therapy is very very effective in helping couples
determine the root problems of their marriage the only way to know for sure if couples therapy
will work is to know for sure if 2 people believe that it will work and take the action steps that a
counselor a coach suggests and continue to try with patience And Determination to make it
work. The root cause of failed marriages is hardened hearts. Hardened Hearts is the diagnosis
given to a couple when both people are set in their mind, absolutely determined in their heart,
and completely focused on what's not working, what hasn't worked in the past, and what went
wrong, and who did what to whom, and who said what to who — and typically point blame as
the other person's fault and claim they have irreconcilable differences. The question of whether
or not a marriage can truly be saved depends on 2 people who believe there is a chance it can
be saved. If one or both spouses feel it is hopeless, it may be difficult to try; but it is still worth
trying so you can look back with no regret.
Learning what the absolute marriage deal breakers are, is only if attempts are made to remedy
these, and it’s to no avail with multiple attempts. If you or your spouse are experiencing any of
the following things in your marriage, you are definitely justified in contemplating divorce, (if, of
course, you have tried to correct or fix these with counseling or medical help more than one
time, to no avail)
● Addiction (drugs, alcohol, porn, gambling, spending, gaming...any activity in excess or
obsessed with that takes priority over responsibilities or relationships)
● Abuse (sexual, emotional, physical, verbal, abandonment)
● Unequally yoked
● Unmedicated Personality disorder
● Emotionally unhealthy person
● Cheating or inappropriate behavior with individuals or friends that violate trust and
intimacy within the marriage
● Someone refusing help, counseling or investing in personal growth
● Someone who is unpleasant to live with because of their severe negative habits, and
they aren't trying to make improvements
Marital problems generally start out as ‘one’ root problem, but then expand into communication
problems as a result of trying to resolve the problems without a third party to help, coach,
referee, or guide them. Misunderstandings and not perceiving the correct intentions of our
partners can become bigger issues sometimes.
What ends up happening is two people focus so much on what's not working, what is wrong,
what their partner is or isn't doing that is bothersome, that they build up a hardened heart, a wall
that is up, and so their mindset is on distancing themselves, physically and emotionally. When
the emotional connection is lost, it is very difficult to reconnect without help.
Intimacy is being able to be transparent with your spouse and feeling totally comfortable being
open and honest with one's true feelings, it is also having your needs met, and feeling really
supportive to meet their needs too. It is also having the desire to work through tough issues
because your love is greater than the problems.
The very best way to determine if you can save your marriage, to tear down the walls of
hardened hearts, or to answer the question: can my marriage be saved, it is highly
recommended to seek couples relationship coaching.
Since 2007, Life & Relationship Coach Annalisa O'Toole has been coaching couples toward
better communication, reconnecting emotionally, and bringing back that friendship on fire that
creates the passion, and intimacy so many long to have in their relationship. Visit
howloveflows.com to learn more, or to book your session today!
Couples with Constant Conflict
Rebuilding Trust & Emotionally Connecting
Couples with Constant Conflict
When Couples have constant conflict, trouble expressing their intentions, trouble understanding their partner, and seem to argue more than talk to work things out, I often diagnose this problem as:
HARDENED HEART SYNDROME.
WHY DOES A SPOUSE DEVELOP A HARDENED HEART?
● Not feeling heard
● Not feeling understood
● Not feeling cherished
● Not
When Couples have constant conflict, trouble expressing their intentions, trouble understanding their partner, and seem to argue more than talk to work things out, I often diagnose this problem as:
HARDENED HEART SYNDROME.
WHY DOES A SPOUSE DEVELOP A HARDENED HEART?
● Not feeling heard
● Not feeling understood
● Not feeling cherished
● Not feeling like they are a team together with their spouse
● Not feeling appreciated, or complimented
● Not feeling accepted for who they are
● Not feeling forgiven for past mistakes
● Not feeling respected
● Not having their needs met (emotional, physical, sexual)
● Feeling a constant hardship with communicating and getting on the same page
● Not having mutual enjoyable interests to share together regularly
● Feeling criticized, often
● Feeling alone, even when they are together
● Feeling used, taken for granted
● Feeling unwanted
● Feeling bullied, controlled or bossed
● Feeling manipulated
HOW CAN ONE SPOUSE SOFTEN THE HARDENED HEART OF THEIR SPOUSE?
● Use neutral statements that make your spouse feel understood, example: I understand. I hear what your saying. I do not agree, but OK. I feel ya. I can see why you
● Listen, empathize, instead of trying to dictate, or fix the problem a spouse is talking about
● Showing compassion for the need of the other; not try and ‘win’ the conversation
● Not offering any type resistance to whatever their spouse is needing (exceptions are unGodly, immoral, illegal, or evil)
● Being humble and kind
● If it wouldn’t matter in 5 years; LET IT BE
● Do not have any expectations of a spouse. Expectations are for parents and children.
● Do not command, deman, or direct orders, always be respectful by ASKING questions
● Do not assume things
● Do not create negative hypotheticals
● Learn your spouse's love language; speak it daily (TIME, GIFTS, SERVICES, TOUCH, WORDS)
When someone walks away from you, it’s as if they are saying that they can not bear the burden of what they are feeling any longer.
It’s as if they have been wearing an invisible sign around their neck that says, PLEASE, MAKE ME FEEL IMPORTANT.
The absolute only way a heart can soften is to humbly, kindly, lovingly, and patiently---meet the emotional needs of the one who is hurt.
Layers and layers of hurt build up through the years, to the point of a partner feeling unable to continue living with the other person; they feel unheard, and unappreciated, and so TRUST IS BROKEN.
The absolute only way to rebuild trust, is to humbly, kindly, lovingly, and patiently---serve the spouse who is hurt, peeling back the layers one at a time, doing things, saying things, that support them, compliment them, encourage them, edify them (praise), help them, and REBUILD THE TRUST that makes them feel you really do care, and demonstrate that your deeper character is one who will love them unconditionally, not because you say so, but your actions and words SHOW that you do.
Sometimes, there isn’t ONE issue that causes someone to step away from a relationship, but a collection of characteristics in their partner that (on a consistent basis) makes them feel hurt, sad, unappreciated, unloved, or unable to communicate.
When this happens, there isn’t a magic formula for reconciliation; but BOTH parties need to evaluate their own behavior, their own set of priorities and values to determine is the problem ‘truly’ about their partner being unable to meet your needs? Or is it that your needs have changed? Or couple it be that you are unsure of your own needs, feeling unhappy and needing your partner to fulfill something inside of you, fill a void that really, is YOUR OWN to fill, not your lover?
In my Relationship Enrichment Course for Couples, I cover so much detail about these very things.
If you need couples therapy, OR want to get a DIY Course that you and your partner can watch together and do the couple's tasks to improve your relationship, visit howloveflows.com for more information on in-person sessions, online sessions, or buying the course....or go stright here:
Rebuilding Trust & Emotionally Connecting
Rebuilding Trust & Emotionally Connecting
Rebuilding Trust & Emotionally Connecting
Rebuilding trust after cheating requires open communication, transparency, and commitment
from both partners. Establish clear boundaries, seek counseling if needed, and give it time for
healing. It's a gradual process that requires patience and effort from both parties.
A void for emotional connection in relationships can result from various
Rebuilding trust after cheating requires open communication, transparency, and commitment
from both partners. Establish clear boundaries, seek counseling if needed, and give it time for
healing. It's a gradual process that requires patience and effort from both parties.
A void for emotional connection in relationships can result from various factors, such as lack of
communication, unmet emotional needs, unresolved conflicts, and differing expectations.
Stress, busy lifestyles, or external pressures can also contribute. Addressing these issues
through open communication and mutual understanding is crucial for fostering emotional connection.
If you are ready to work with a relationship Coach, or purchase a DIY Coupels course to help hyou get your trust and intimacy back to where you feel fulfilled, less hurt, and able to have all your needs met, consider three things:
Joi]k,8ning the Free facebook group, How Love Flows, for free trainging and information.
Consider buying the couples Enrichment course to enhance your relationship; with over 3 hours of material and tasks, advice, and lessons, you are sure to improve every area of your partnership! Go here:
About How Love Flows
Feeling Alone in a Relationsihp
They stopped texting, calling, reaching out
Feeling Alone in a Relationsihp
If you feel alone in your relationship, you are 'not' alone. Many couples have one partner who feels as though they are unseen, unheard, underappreciated, or underacknowledged, and some even report feeling like they are roommates with their partner rather than lovers.
If your partner is emotionally unavailable, try expressing your feelings
If you feel alone in your relationship, you are 'not' alone. Many couples have one partner who feels as though they are unseen, unheard, underappreciated, or underacknowledged, and some even report feeling like they are roommates with their partner rather than lovers.
If your partner is emotionally unavailable, try expressing your feelings calmly and openly without getting defensive or allowing the conversation to begin an argument; especially if your partner doesn't take responsibility for acknowledging or understanding your feelings. Encourage a space of open communication, and seek to understand their perspective. Consider booking a relationship coaching session, and be patient as you try to work on changes, and implement new ideas for both partners to work on the relationship. One idea is buying a relationship-building course. See the link below for details.
Lost Passion
They stopped texting, calling, reaching out
Feeling Alone in a Relationsihp
Intimacy is created when two people feel understood, have a strong friendship when they can communicate positively, and invest quality time together. A friendship ON-FIRE = PASSION! If you've lost that loving feeling, you may be feeling a void, unfulfilled, and maybe on the verge of breaking up or divorcing. To truly, deeply, understand t
Intimacy is created when two people feel understood, have a strong friendship when they can communicate positively, and invest quality time together. A friendship ON-FIRE = PASSION! If you've lost that loving feeling, you may be feeling a void, unfulfilled, and maybe on the verge of breaking up or divorcing. To truly, deeply, understand the steps to bringing the romance, intimacy, and friendship back into your relationship, it's important to evaluate some things as a couple. The best advice, couples tasks, and remedies are area outlined in my Couples Enrichment course, that can be pjurchased right her eon this site. See link below to book a couples session, OR Order the course for a DIY experience to strnegthen your realtionsihp!
They stopped texting, calling, reaching out
They stopped texting, calling, reaching out
They stopped texting, calling, reaching out
It can truly feel very disheartening when someone doesn't call back, or text back. The goal though, is to love yourself MORE than you NEED someone else who isn't asking for your time! If you aren't ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS, let them go. It hurts, I know. I've been there. But trust me when I tell you; if you chase them, and you are the
It can truly feel very disheartening when someone doesn't call back, or text back. The goal though, is to love yourself MORE than you NEED someone else who isn't asking for your time! If you aren't ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS, let them go. It hurts, I know. I've been there. But trust me when I tell you; if you chase them, and you are the stronger aggressor in intitiating the time together, and the communication together, than ...let me ask you, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW...
If they are thingking of you?
If they are needing You?
If they are desiring your time?
If they are making you a priority?
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW if you're always the instigator?
NEVER chase someone. Always balance the contact with 50-50%. If you've reached out, and nothing comes back....don't try again for 24 hours. Still nothing?......
MOVE ON.COM
Your confidence should be so high, that you know without a shadow of a doubt that you truly want to be with somebody who literally can. not. wait. to. call. or. text. you!!
If you need help raising your deserve level, building confidence, and overcoming your attachment....that could possibly be unhealthy...text me for a free-15min motivational- call!!! let's connect! You deserve the best!
